Hi Everyone!  Welcome to my new website!  We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.

We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home!  And in typical Leman style, we had fun.  It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.

Can you guess who is who?

At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year.  So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy!  I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!

Tips for parenting: 

1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!

2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them

3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!

4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”

5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!

Kids have a need to please you.   They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.

As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse!  Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.

Tips for your marriage:

1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one!  As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple.  He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!

2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication.  She has the need to hear from you.  She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life!  She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!

3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.

4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.

 Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):

1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!

2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest!   And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”

3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions!  It’s like magic.  On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!

Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do!  Because God has placed them in authority over you.”

And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.”   These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you!  Handle these relationships with care.

I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple.  God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.

As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.

1.  Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or  Twitter.  Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!

2. Leave me a comment on this post!  Tell me your resolutions this year.  How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!

Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you! 

I wish you all a great  2012.

285 Comments

  • Bill Holmes says:

    I resolve to close my mouth and open my ears; to close my eyes and open my heart.

  • Shane Bowes says:

    I’m looking forward to making my relationship with my wife better. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I want her to know it this year!

  • Bonnie L says:

    I am getting more organized in all areas so that I can be a better wife and mom! Thanks for all your no-nonsense advice!

  • Meredith Drake says:

    The new website looks great. Once again, I am determined to be more patient and consistent with my kids. Your books have been so helpful. I refer to them all the time! Thank you for all you do!

  • Val says:

    This year I resolved to read my Bible at least 4 times a week.

  • Donna Corey says:

    Im so thankful for my family but here recently there Hans been things that my oldest son is doing that is bringing me closer to God,putting me on my knees!! my New resolution is to be a better parent and wife that’s Gods wants me to be,learn to be a little less controlling and be more like things happening on Gods time !! Just want to grow more mature in the lord !!!

  • Sarah Ballenger says:

    My resolution is to stay off the computer and spend more time communicating with people face to face.

  • Amanda Thompson says:

    2012 – Keep it Simple… follow God’s lead… focus on my family – spouse and kids and then positive relationships that grow and challenge me… have date nights and family nights…work with my husband to get out of debt….declutter the house…..

    Love your blog… great perspective for a New Year… God has big plans for us… want to follow His plan and be an example for those around me…. Thanks so much!

  • Susan says:

    Great website! My resolution is to make changes in my life that will help me be less critical of others around me. I can only change myself to love others unconditionally. The rest is under God’s control!

  • Debra says:

    Great site….As for this new year…I want to be less of me and more of HIM! Be a better wife and to become a different kind of mother to my adult children!

  • Katherine Dunkle says:

    I an going to try to be more patient! With my children, husband and myself! The site looks great!

  • Wenda Cannedy says:

    Love your Books. When i started reading The Birth Order Book I had to laugh. I’m the baby of the family. When I first started reading your book, the first thing I did was look thru the index to find the part about me, chapter 9. The first two sentences said I know you just skipped the first 8 chapters and started right here. I started bursting out laughing. Yep Thats me! Love your books Dr. Lehaman. Thank-you so much.
    Wenda

  • Jody says:

    I love the website! I look forward to the new year and seeing how I can be a better wife, mother and friend!

  • sharlynn says:

    I really loved reading this because my husband and I have navigated alot in the two years of being married, and just how I tell him all that he does wrong, and the twenty questions…My new years resolution is to stop and allow God to be God because I’m not.

  • Jennifer B. says:

    Love the new site! My resolution is to be a better mom, wife and daughter by studying the word of God more this year.

  • Sharon V says:

    There are always improvements we can make in our relations. To keep them strong and growing. I have found your advice practical and fun! A good combination for building stronger family ties.

  • Cecilia Yi says:

    Your work gives me hope whenever I read it. Thank you!

  • Tina says:

    We have no new year’s resolutions, however, we have some goals that we will be writing down to achieve by the end of the year. This year we started a new tradition; on New Year’s Eve, we wrote down all of our accomplishments for 2011, to remind us why we are celebrating the end of the year. So, on New Year’s Eve 2012, we will evaluate how close we came to achieving our 2012 goals. 😀

  • Jose Valdovinos says:

    My new years resolution is to spend more time at home with my family and have dinner together most days of the week.

  • Derek Valenzuela says:

    Dr. Leman,

    As a fellow first born I am resolving to listen for longer then a few seconds to my wife each night as she pours over every single detail of her day. We have a 22 month old we adopted who is awesome, but takes a lot of time and Emily (wife) is pregnant with TWIN GIRLS due in June. Pray for me!
    My wife is awesome and needs more attention and time this year so I want to give her the gift of an attentive husband. Learning from your books would definitely help.

    I actually have read quite a few of your books and others on relationships. You don’t have to sign my books if you don’t want to. I sign all the books I read pretending to be the author. I write something like “Derek, you are a way better husband then me, you don;t even need this book Sincerely – Dr. Leman.” My wife thinks its weird but I think its funny. derekv@cbsconnect.com

  • Lori P. says:

    My resolution is to help my family eat better. It amazes me how our diet so affects our moods.

  • Nancy says:

    Areas I want to work on include being a better role model for my children-especially the one who seems to mimic me. I am considering going to school again & praying for direction regarding this. As for my marriage, my husband recently acknowledged to me that I ask ‘why’ often. I didn’t get it, but after reading above, I’ve decided to take the 48 hr challenge work to establish new habits. I want to take the time to examine what I’m about to state and see if it’s really necessary or if I can rephrase it positively. As for your website, it’s pretty easy to navigate on my phone but to fully enjoy the changes I’ll look again from a computer. Thanks for the redesign and New Year blog.

  • Julie McDaniel says:

    Excited about the new website! Always looking for more words of wisdom….much needed in the teenage years of parenting! In 2012, I want to be more focused on the blessings in my life. I too, tend to see the negatives first at this parenting / marriage stage….but not going to this year– with the help of God centered people in my life!
    Thank you Leman family!

  • Lisa says:

    Congratulations on your new site! This topic is one that is of great interest to me. You spoke at a marriage seminar my husband & I were at a few years ago, and we both enjoyed it so much!! I love your humor that just ties in so perfectly with your message(s). As far as a New Years’ resolution–I actually had a pretty bad year last year & am anxious to get this one going in a much better direction….with myself (exercise/lose some weight for sure, work on my relationships–all of them, but on the top of my list is with my husband and our children–it is going to be a much better year!!).
    Thank you Dr. Leman for doing what you do!! This world needs so many more men like yourself–maybe you could be ‘cloned’. Just kidding on that one. But seriously, this is a pretty scary world we live in, and having kids (we have a 20-y/o daughter & a 16 1/2-y/o son) keeps you going…..lots of prayer–that’s for sure!!
    Dr. Leman, I would like to personally ask for your prayers (and any advice you may have) for us–with our son. He’s 16 1/2 and strong-willed….we have a lot of challenges with him, and not only is it taking a toll on us as parents, but on our marriage–tremendously!!
    Thank you again Dr. Leman! God Bless You and your family!! May this New Year bring you all an abundance of blessings and great health!!

    P.S. I wasn’t sure if I needed to give this to you again–
    since it is above, but just in case–my email is: kidzrspecial@sbcglobal.net

  • Adrienne says:

    I love this website! A friend of mine shared it on Facebook and I agree with everything written! I do tend to be a little critical (okay, a LOT) toward my husband and kids. I do need to lighten up. For 2012, I didn’t make “resolutions” because those tend to be dismissed after a week or two. Instead, I made “commitments”, because they are more permanent. In 2012, one of my commitments is to be a better Mom and Wife by spending more time with my family. I want to have fun with them and show them that they are valuable to me. I don’t think I did a good job with that in 2011, so I’m thankful that God has given me another year to try again.

  • Kerry Adams says:

    My new years resolution is to be a better me! I want to be more patient with my kids and with my husband. As well I would like to be a healthier me and lose a few pounds 🙂

  • sharlynn says:

    This is great, a big eye opener, I can be so critical, I needed to read that and my husband would thank you for writing about be critical….can’t wait for more

  • Angie Z. says:

    I didn’t make any resolutions this year, but chose to just do it! We have so many choices in life, but how many of us actually do the act of choosing. Because I am now making the conscientious choice to start choosing, I have actually slowed down to think things through (which was a resolution I had almost every year). I have chosen to listen to my spouse and children. (which was another resolution that went something like “My resolution is to spend more quality time with my spouse and children.”) And I have chosen to be healthier. (which will forever be a work in process, so I don’t bother making that a resolution every year!) Happy New Year everyone!

  • Tammy Daves says:

    I would like to be more positive in my family life!

    Thank you for the giveaway and all your great advise!

  • Diana Pacific says:

    I shared on fb. I truly love reading your books and have several. The last one I read was ‘Have a New Husband by Friday’. It works! We are empty nesters who are expecting three new grandchildren this year (a set of twin girls at that). We have two grandsons, so that will be 5 total! And we are only in our 50s! Got any books on grandparenting in the making? haha. Our new years resolutions are, with God’s help, to live debt free, to be a good example of marriage to our children and to others, to make sure we ‘smell the flowers’ even more along the way … and to read your blog! 🙂 Happy New Year to my favorite author!

  • Sarah Swearingane says:

    I’m trying to be a more patient and understanding wife and mother. I have a tendancy to get very frustrated and lose my temper over some of the dumbest things. I hope to change that. Thank you for starting this site. I look forward to following you both here and on facebook.

  • Rhonda Calvert says:

    Thank you so much for all you do. I received your new book “It’s Your Kid Not a Gerbil” and am enjoying it tremendously. Previously my favorite book of yours had been “How To Make Your Kid Mind Without Losing Yours” but now I am not so sure. 🙂 Love having you on Facebook and hearing you on various shows. I love how straight forward you are and truly try to take your info & commit to memory. My husband and I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and another on the way – all boys…We need all the help we can get. God has truly blessed you with a gift and those of us in the trenches of parenting truly appreciate it.

  • Louise Hoeppner says:

    I didn’t make any resolutions this year because they tend to revolve around weight and well that just hasn’t happened ever so why set myself up to fail again!!
    Love your tips fpr parenting and marriage. I am trying to crack down on the disrespectful remarks…need to be more creative in the dicipline I think! Love your books, thanks for sharing your wisdom 🙂

  • Debra P says:

    Love your first blog. I’ve followed and read your books for years. What I would love to see are tips geared towards young adults/college age kids. I have trouble with how to discipline that age (or whatever it’s called at that age). I can’t find good advice on that age when they still live at home while attending college. Thank you for all you do. You’re the best! My email address is : momonthego1@cox.net

  • Wendy Brunner says:

    This is the year of relationships for us. teaching our three boys that that is what our family is about. Both within our home and reaching out to others. Specifically my husband and I are purposing to invest in the relationships with our kids that are most difficult. Mine with our first and my husbands with our middle-est. We are going to focus on dates one on one as well as identifying what it is our family most loves to do together.

  • Jaina Cakebread says:

    My goal for this year is to be more positive. I love the tips. Thanks for all of the wisdom that you share!

  • Katie Kuehn says:

    My resolution may sound simple, but it’s the 3rd and, so far, it’s anything but easy. I have resolved to listen more than I speak.

    Thank you, Dr. Leman, for all your work. You spoke at my NPU graduation, and I have read a bunch of your work since then. You have helped my future husband and I greatly!

  • Kimberley Shank says:

    You are right on!

  • chris says:

    love your new website and very much enjoy your humor in speaking the truth!

  • Kimberly says:

    This year, I am definitely working on my relationship. My fiance is being deployed in the fall, and although I know I cannot make our relationship fool-proof, there are definitely a lot of things that we can work on to make it as strong as it can be before he leaves. Love this website and love the advice!

  • Genia Dumont says:

    I just want to spent more time with my family. Getting to know them better before they all leave the nest.

    Thanks for your wonderful books, which have started me on this path.

    Genia Dumont

  • Samantha says:

    My biggest resolution for 2012…don’t sweat the petty things…and show more love to the sweaty things! (4 kids and a husband) I enjoy your books and I am learning more with every page I turn.

  • Angelle says:

    My resolution is to win more contests.

  • Sherry Lechaton says:

    Thanks Dr. Leman for the thought provoking post! My goal is to be swift to hear and slow to speak! I love my husband and son so much and a strong, loving family is so important to me.

  • Melissa says:

    I was a no-nonsense parent starting 17 years ago, and I was thrilled to find someone who shared my parenting skills. I felt like I was the only parent out there who was a tough-loving parent. I am looking forward to your blog because, as a homeschooling mom of 3, I will enjoy sitting down at lunch to my “lap-top” break, and get a little wisdom, encouragement, or a kick-in-the-hiney. I met you some years back at Parkview Christian Church in Orland Park, IL . I do have to say, you are just as warm and funny in person as you are when you blog (tweet,FB). I now live on Saint Simons Island, Ga, and wish you would come to my church here. Maybe someday. Thanks for all you do!

    • Dr. Kevin Leman says:

      I loved Parkview Christian in Orland Park, One of the best churches I have ever attended….But let’s check out Saint Simons Island, have someone call us…520 797 3830!

  • ADL says:

    Love your site. We are newlyweds thus no children. Your Sheetmusic book was given to us as a bridal shower gift & we just love it. We strive to have “comments” that could be sent to you on a regular basis that say hey we got this one right & that one as well, referencing something from your book. Something we will continue into the new year. I love it when my hubbie says hey Dr.Leman would get a kick out that, referencing something we have just said 🙂
    Happy New Year, may you see that God Blesses all the time!

  • Scott Burk says:

    Resolutions:
    1.) Health – Get more sleep each night, walk at least 8,000 steps per day, increase my daily activity.
    2.) Work – Get a job. Shepherd a new flock. Do it well.
    3.) God – Express my thankfulness in all things. Spend more time with Him daily. Live for Him.
    4.) Family – Talk more with my wife. Listen more to my family.
    5.) Cat – Nah… cat still gets my ignorance. Maybe next year.
    Scott Burk
    sab001 at g mai l do t com

  • Valerie says:

    Thanks for all your great advice! God bless you and all your family in 2012.

  • Dan Spahr says:

    I resolve to be less arrogant and more humble.

  • Angie Brey says:

    Hello Dr. Leman!
    I’m not big on resolutions, but I do have some goals for 2012:
    *Get into God’s word EVERY day (before the computer)
    *Continue to lose weight (actually enjoying it!)
    *Focus on relationships with my hubby & kids (Reading ‘Have a New Teen by Friday’ – love it!)
    *Get organized (an ongoing process)
    Not necessarily in that order…. 🙂 Happy New Year to you & your beautiful family!