Hi Everyone! Welcome to my new website! We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.
We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home! And in typical Leman style, we had fun. It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.
Can you guess who is who?
At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year. So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy! I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!
Tips for parenting:
1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!
2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them
3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!
4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”
5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!
Kids have a need to please you. They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.
As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse! Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.
Tips for your marriage:
1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one! As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple. He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!
2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication. She has the need to hear from you. She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life! She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!
3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.
4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.
Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):
1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!
2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest! And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”
3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions! It’s like magic. On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!
Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do! Because God has placed them in authority over you.”
And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.” These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you! Handle these relationships with care.
I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple. God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.
As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.
1. Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or Twitter. Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!
2. Leave me a comment on this post! Tell me your resolutions this year. How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!
Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you!
I wish you all a great 2012.
Excellent blog. Packed with some good, down-to-earth information. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to read your blog every day — and following the advice. Thank you, Dr. Leman, for sharing your wisdom with us.
Why am I compelled to ask why and the need to know? But this I will work on and try to accept things as is.
To journal more, and more deeply. To buy less ”wants” and concentrate on the ”needs” (and learn to discern between the two. And to get my emotional self in order so that I can pluck up the courage to take a course on writing for the magazine market. Maybe I won’t achieve these goals for a while but it gives me something tangible to strive toward. And hopefully Dr Leman’s timely wisdom from this blog and his books will help me along the journey.
I have ALWAYS been a fan…since way back at MM days! My resolution this year is to now be so crazy “doing” all the time!
The above comment should be NOT be so crazy “doing” all the time. :)
my husband, our two daughters and myself have started a family devotion after supper each night. what a wonderful family time it is! we get to eat together and laugh together, then we get to grow spiritually together.
Love the new site, Dr. Leman. Looking forward to 2012 and the sense ‘newness’ each New Year brings. No resolutions per se, but a desire to grow spiritually as an individual and as a family. We need more intentional relationships and less ‘flying-by-the-seats-of-our-pants.’
Sonya Wiren
slwwmail@gmail.com
My husband and I sat down on New Year’s Eve and made a list of things to “get done” in 2012. Reading more (Bible and other books) was high on our list. We have become complacent with the TV, watching Tivo’d shows and too many movies. SO this year we are going to sit in the living room, in front of the silent and dark TV while reading!!
I love the new website! I have so many hopes for this new year. Hope for better relationships with my husband and my children. I have just started reading Have a New Husband by Friday and I love it. I have enjoyed so many of your books.
Like you new site! Still thinking about the resolutions on being a better spouse, parent etc. Hoping that my resolutions to read the bible each day and exercise will help with above.
I am going to continue pressing in to God, continuing my daily devotionals & prayer time and working on being the best Wife, Mother & Daughter I can be for my family & for myself!! Love my family!! Blessings to you and yours!! :0)
Good advice and easy to use website.
Started following you on Focus on the Family and have enjoyed ‘meeting’ you on facebook and reading your book about turning a mouthy, moody teen into a respectful, responsible one. Keep on dispensing your great advice as I’m trying to follow it…and that’s a resolution!
I resolve not to lose mind while raising a teen. My prayer is for GRACE to overflow into me and OUT of me. I LOVE my son and my husband, but the teen years are a challenge.
I resolve to hopefully let my child reach 16!!!!! LOL Love you and your books,wouldlove to see you come to Rochester NY!
I have many resolutions this year, with the main ones, are to be more organized, and take care of myself better. I think many spouse resolutions can be made by just reading Sheet Music! My kids are still young, so I am still thinking of a resolution for them, they won’t be teens for many years! I am enjoying them being little while I can. :) The new website is great, very easy to navigate!
Thank you Dr. Leman for all your wisdom imparted in your books which has helped me become a better parent. As you said it is not easy, but can be simple. It is hard to think that parenting can be simple. It has been has been difficult for my husband and I learn how to be parents after waiting for God’s great gift of becoming parents after 14 years of marriage. Thank you for another great resource in helping me becoming a better wife and mother. May you have a happy and prosperous 2012.
Nice site! Clean, simple layout with calming colors. Makes me feel more focused already :) My resolution is to have no resolutions. I always break them anyway. My daily goal is to smile at my children more and not get sucked into the drama when discipline inevitably comes their way. I also have a desire to be in closer relationship with God and to hug my husband at least once a day.
breapert@yahoo.com
Our 2 children graduate from high school in May. Then it’s off to college for both. My goal this year is to try not to beat myself up over parenting mistakes I have made as the kids go out on their own. I also want to renew my marriage relationship as we enter the empty nest. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder who this man is. I want to keep it fresh!
Wow, to be honest I have never heard of you!! But I am so excitited to read more about your views!
I look forward to the transition of our daughter moving into her own home, just 7 miles away. Want to work on having an adult relationship with her.
Thank you for this blog.
I will try my best as a wife, mom and teacher to be more encouraging with my words! Thanks for encouraging families.
Well I already started my resolution to learning how to deal with my 16 yr old better by reading your book “Have a New teenager by Friday” . But I think I have a long way to go. It is hard not to ask questions and also sometimes hard to come up with appropriate consequences. But I must believe we will build a better relationship.
Read “Have a New You by Friday” recently… my goal is to keep working on applying all that to my life, to be a better wife & mom of 2 teens (+ a 20y.o. college student & an exchange student). I also want to keep working on decluttering my house and develop some healthier exercise habits.
Anything written by you is definitely a good read!!
Always enjoy listening to you when I have the chance and have read several books of yours that have been very helpful with parenting my children. You keep it simple, and that seems to be effective! My goal for the coming year is listen more to my kids and then respond. I tend to bark orders first!
Happy New Year to you!
Laura Jones
ljones@gabrilson.com
I heard you on the radio here in Seattle Spirit 105.3. I have enjoyed listening to you and would love to read more of your work. I posted 11 of my resolutions for 2012 on my Facebook page. One of them is to be the husband and father God intends for me to be. If you should bless me with this give away I will inturn bless others by reading it and then handing the book to another person so they can be blessed. May continue to Bless You.
I resolve not to make any resolutions as I have ADD and cannot follow through very well!!!
I am going to make new job boards for my four children. Not to be a task master; rather, the opposite. This will hopefully stop me from nagging them, make their expectations clear and set up rewards they can earn. I look forward to some peace!
I am going to try to be positive as a wife and mother!Thank you for your blog!
I will Choose Joy this year.
Love that you have a new blog! My husband are trying to be intentional about praying over each other every day. We always prayed together at the end of each day, but we want to really pray FOR each other each morning… being specific about needs in our marriage, with our kids and things going on in our individual lives. I feel closer to him already and we are only on day 3!! Also, resolution to get out of debt before we turn 40 (both turn 40 in 2013!!)
I plan on making healthier choices so that I can be strong and fit for my family. I also am thankful to have read a couple of your books which have really helped me in my parenting. I am seeing my relationship with my children grow as I become a better listener and more consistent in my parenting. I am thankful that God has allowed me to be a parent and I know that He will work in areas of my children’s lives in ways that I never could. I am in awe of His amazing love and faithfulness and how Jesus pursues each of us with an everlasting love. In the new year I plan to continue to learn and grow but also to pray…and pray some more for my children. Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!
I am going to plan more intentional together time with my husband to do fun things that are a break from the routine daily living.
Your words bring tears to my eyes, I feel convicted, and hope to change our family’s animosity to each other.
Love the site Dr. Leman!!!!
I love the website! For 2012, I am striving to be a spouse with more patience, a parent with confidence and wisdom and a grandparent who can grow with my grandchildren and share with them many of the lessons I can give them that they might otherwise miss out on!
Single parenting is hard. Im resolving to use more vitamin E this yr!
I love all your wise tips on relationships. The lord has been making it clear that His primary purpose for believers is to make disciples. I want to make sure that I disciple my children and grow in our faith together before they leave our home. I will also work at making more time for my wife and do fun things together.
I’ve been a stay-at-home Mom for 21 years and have never been on a trip because we just couldn’t afford it financially. Last year in January, my husband found out that he has- at some point- suffered a silent heart attack. That news changed our whole perspective on things: especially with regards to making time (as a couple) to get away.
On June 27 (this year), we will celebrate our 25th Anniversary!! We are so excited to finally have plans in place to take a trip. I cannot express how thrilled we are to be able to travel to the U.S.- something we’ve prayed about and pondered for years! Now that our eldest daughter is married and our youngest has finished high school, we have resolved to strengthen the relationship we have- not only as a couple, but also with Christ- who has been our Rock through so many trials. Our long-term plan is to make time to ‘get away’ so that together we can build a stronger faith- which in turn will create a stronger marriage- because we just never know what the next day holds…
My 2012 res … Seek more outside knowledge on healthy child/parent relationships and tools.
As a foster parent to teen boys, I am bombarded with what the state or case workers feel I should do/say/be/ how my home is run…and frankly its a 30/70 sucess rate that usualy leaves myself and own teenagers needs/feelings/concerns out of the picture and a casualty.
There must be more effective and entire house hold heath answears out there…
I have been so thankful through the years for your life message. So many times I would pull out one of your books to reset my thinking. So thankful for your website and blogs to be friendly reminders to value the quality of the relationships in my life with my husband and children. My life goal is to live the First Commandment but sometimes the theory of it all gets lost in the practical “how’s.” Your work… and I have a large collection of your books…. has been the voice of the teacher in my life to help me navigate the wonderland of parenthood giving me permission to be imperfect and to just keep trying.
My husband and I are leading a small group for newly married couples. My hope is to learn right along with them so that our 19-year marriage can be all it was meant to be.
I would have had a resolution to be a better parent (spent the better part of aug/sept reading all your books I could find at the library) But I went from being a stay at home mom to calling on the abuse of my ex and having it turned on me. As a result, it ‘appears’ I’m losing my kids in court. If we ever get there. Its been 3 months an I have seen my kids twice. So, I’m basically close to giving up. You wanted honest…there it is. An abusive man is about to take over my kids… a non christian man. So much for courts wanting what is best even when the evidence is clearly before them I guess. No ‘first born’ tendencies are going to get me thru this one.
This has been one of the best birthday presents ever. I need the encouragement that Dr. Leman sends my way every day and truly desire to be that encourager and builder to my girls and husband thru Christ.
My New Years resolution is to focus on being more positive with my husband and children! I have a critical lens and I know I struggle with that and it has been an issue within marriage! Thank you Dr. Leman for your wonderful advice and tips!! My email-Nezzer78@yahoo.com. I also posted your link to my FB page :)
I love the new site! I resolve to have 2 new kids through the use of Vitamin E and N, among other things! I want to be a better example of God’s love and have my kids know that they are, not only, loved by God, but also, by me. I have been too quick to be on edge with them, as a single mom, and not encourage them the way God intended. I want to be a better Mom, Aunt & person this year and pack my kids bags with the things that will draw them and keep them in the love of God! Thank you for all the books of wisdom God has written through you! Be Blessed!
This year my hubby and I will continue our weekly at-home date nights, but we are adding a monthly on-the-town date night, too! I’m hoping to continue to strengthen our blended family relationships. Can’t wait to see what this website will bring! Thanks, Dr. Leman
I have a troubled marriage, with my husband not being a Christian YET, I am praying and working toward remedying that. Love the new web site, thanks for making it user friendly. God Bless. Penny
2012 promises to be an exciting year for my family – my husband and I will become parents this year! My resolution this year is to welcome our new little addition while still keeping our marriage a top priority. I want to remember this year (and in the years to come) that we decided to have children because we love each other. Our child is an addition to our family, not the center of it.