Hi Everyone!  Welcome to my new website!  We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.

We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home!  And in typical Leman style, we had fun.  It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.

Can you guess who is who?

At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year.  So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy!  I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!

Tips for parenting: 

1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!

2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them

3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!

4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”

5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!

Kids have a need to please you.   They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.

As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse!  Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.

Tips for your marriage:

1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one!  As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple.  He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!

2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication.  She has the need to hear from you.  She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life!  She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!

3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.

4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.

 Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):

1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!

2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest!   And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”

3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions!  It’s like magic.  On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!

Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do!  Because God has placed them in authority over you.”

And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.”   These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you!  Handle these relationships with care.

I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple.  God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.

As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.

1.  Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or  Twitter.  Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!

2. Leave me a comment on this post!  Tell me your resolutions this year.  How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!

Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you! 

I wish you all a great  2012.

285 Comments

  • Jamie says:

    Thanks for the great advice! My family resolution is to be more joyful and less hard on myself, lower my expectations a little and just enjoy my children.

  • melanie freisinger says:

    love your stuff 🙂 Used it with my youngest and am now passing it on to the grandkids! May God bless and keep you ~

  • Laurin says:

    Hello, Dr. Leman. I just want to tell you that I’ve been reading your books over and over since I was sixteen, I’m now twenty-one. You’ve been such a huge part of my growing up. You’ve taught me so much. I can’t even count how many times I’ve loaned your books out to other people, or suggested them. Your birth order books have taught me about myself and helped me understand why I am the way I am…and why my partners have been the way they are. You bring a great education into my relationships and I just really want to thank you.
    Now for this new year, I’m just taking this year one day at a time. I’m going to try to not be so controlling in my current relationship and try to grow. I’m going to continue to pray.
    Again, I just want to say thank you so much for what you’ve done and what you continue to do to help people! You’re truly a blessing.

    Laurin

  • Melanie Pike says:

    My husband and I are empty-nesters. Of sorts. Our son and his wife moved in with us late last February due to their financial circumstances, and they had a baby boy in late July; they’re hoping to get their own place in the Spring. It’s been tough, but even with your adult children, the parenting tips are great. Heck, they’re good for your marriage, too! We’ve been married 32 years and have 2 kids, with 4 grandkids.
    I resolve to be much more supportive of my husband (he has a tough job as an auto mechanic because he is hurting alllllllll the time, both mentally/emotionally and physically), especially as we consider the possibility of him changing jobs and taking a lower-paying-but-less-stressful job (which means I would need to find a job to help support us–I haven’t worked in nearly 7 years).
    I also resolve to (finally) read “Have a New You by Friday” because I feel I need lots of internal changes due to lifelong negativity and very poor self-image. I believe that improving upon me can help in all my relationships–with God, with family, with church family.
    Love the new website and this blog 🙂 The pics of your family are wonderful!
    By the way, I am the youngest of 7 kids, but there are just over 4 years between the second-youngest and myself. He is definitely a youngest type with his crazy sense of humor! I tend more to the only child, at least to a certain extent. We love the birth order stuff, especially my daughter (the older of our two) and me!

  • Heidi says:

    Hi Dr. Leman! Our resolution this year is to read 4 books a month on these 4 topics: Marriage/Sex, Parenting, Personal Growth and Finances. We each pick two. This month included Sheet Music for under the Marriage/Sex category and Have a New Kid by Friday for the Parenting category! A sincere thanks for writing these books. They have changed our lives and family for eternity! hndean@mts.net

  • Amanda says:

    Love what you do! Everything you say, is said so well and is so easy to follow.
    I’m so glad to have found you while my little ones are only 2 and 10 months. And I can learn as they grow.
    mandahogg@gmail.com
    Thank you for being you!

  • Steven says:

    We met you in Winnipeg and purchased (and read) your book for the very first time. Life has changed, what can I say, other than THANK YOU!

  • Donna says:

    Love you teaching series, I am striving to be a better mother now that our situation is a little different due to the economy I went from being a stay at home mom to a full time working career woman/ wife /mother. Wow does it ever have it’s challenges!

  • Cindy says:

    Love the new website! My goal in 2012 is to take it one day at a time, cherishing each day and what it has to offer. I want to spend more quality time with my husband and children…laughing more and stressing less!

  • Nancy Croumlichn says:

    Thank you Kevin, I always want to improve my walk in life and understand people better. Wisdom and knowledge and understanding is worth more than gold. Your books have always had nuggets of truth that I treasure. I hope to find more in 2012!

  • Martha Smith says:

    To get more organized in order to be a better wife and mother.

  • LeAnn says:

    My goal for 2012 is to focus more on my marriage as we are almost empty nesters. I would also like to get and read, Have a New You by Friday.

  • Sarah says:

    My husband and I have resolved to appreciate our kids more. Less getting aggravated over the little things, and more appreciating what God has given us!

  • Jamey Goins says:

    I resolve to keep growing as a person ( but not physically 😉 ., continuing to move the mountains I just don’t want to travel around anymore. Hope to live a life this year that makes the big guy upstairs proud to say he is my Daddy.

  • shelly a. says:

    I am resolving to focus more on God & less on everything else. My commitment this year is to read through the Bible, something I’ve lacked consistency with in past years.

  • Jeff Bobin says:

    Looking forward to watching your new site grow and touch the lives on many people.

  • christa says:

    I am so ready for a stress free 2012, and through reading 2 of your books, my fiance and I have been able to understand each other more based on our birth order. Your information has been so helpful for us and our family, we enjoyed your seminar you did at the willow creek in crystal lake/huntley, il.

    Tat2pryncess@gmail.com
    Christa ohlrich

  • Heather Rittenhouse-Philbrick says:

    If I’d have read your birth order book prior to marrying my first born control freak husband, Then I (a precious jewel only, who was actually raised alot like a last born (I found out I had three siblings from my dad’s prior marriage – I was the only one who didnt know about the marriage or the kids) would have thought twice about the union. It has been 21 years of what you called in your birth order book “Armeggedon marriage”. I just resolve this year to make changes and be brave. Not to settle anymore for someone who does not love me. 2012 will be a year of decisions and positive change for me. My eyes are on Jesus and I will move forward, making finally the life I have needed and desired for me and for my kids. It’s about time. Thank you!

  • Kristy says:

    I love your books. I can’t wait to read more.

  • Laura says:

    I plan to spend more time with just my husband.and to have more patience wih my kids.

  • Shawna says:

    My daughter’s school offered your books new this year in their ‘parent book library’ and I have checked out and read FOUR of them so far. I love it. I love this new blog and can’t wait to receive your tidbits in a fashion that is easily accessible and digestible. Thank you for everything! I hope to be able to go on the Cruise next year…

  • Heather Arnelien says:

    Enjoying this!

  • Heather says:

    Thank you so much for writing books! Your writing is not only helpful, useful and practical, but it is also entertaining at the same time! I read “Home Court Advantage” last year, and since reading it, my husband and I have made many decisions that are better for out family. I am looking forward to continuing to strengthen our family in 2012 by making the right (and not always easiest) choices!

  • Pete says:

    This year I resolve to follow my head and not my heart. To recognize that peoples actions are their true thoughts and their words only have meaning when those words match their actions. To understand that when someone tells me that I am this way or that way, it’s a manifestation of their beliefs and those beliefs will guide how they treat me. This year I resolve to replace the kindness that I expect from others with kindness from myself.

  • Krystal Thornton says:

    I resolve to learn to have more patience with… Everything. To listen more talk less. To read more, I feel the more I know about everything the more control I have. If you know how something works, when it falls apart you can easily, and quickly put it back together!! That’s my motto.

  • SHERRY says:

    This year I will try to work harder on helping my 6 year old practice reading since he seems frustrated he is not mastering it very easily. I will also try to make more home cooked meals and less take out meals in the car on our way to classes.

  • Brenda Davis says:

    In our home we want to stop sweating the small stuff. The small stuff gets in the way of bigger things. We want to appreciate more, have more fun, and spend time together. My daughter will be going to college in the fall so I want to make memories this year!

  • Tonia says:

    I don’t usally make New Year’s Resolutions.. but my husband and I had a really bad year in 2011 so I decided that in 2012, I will not focus on what is ‘wrong’ with my marriage but what is right’.

  • Devona Booker says:

    To be more patient with my kids & spouse! Especially my strong-willed son, thanks for your parenting books, it’s helped keep my sanity these past few years!

  • Keri says:

    I have some goals in place for myself, my 3 boys and us as a family. Enforcing the chores and responsibilites is top of the list, to talk – not argue when disagreements arise, to work together to make family time a priority. we plan on having at least 3-4 meals a week at the dinner table and not in front of the tv and also want to implement a christian devotional time one day a week…i’m going to work on finding a book to read to them and then have open discussions about the lesson or teaching we read together. focusing on strengthening the family and putting god at the center of our world!!!

  • Amanda says:

    My resolution is to consciously choose to be happier and enjoy my job so that my family can be happier too.

  • Dr Kevin Leman, you are an amazing author and great teacher. A couple of things I take away from this article to start off 2012 is 1) If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest! and 2) If you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions! Love the new website Dr Leman! Blessings to you and your family in 2012!

  • I want to live a more balanced life:) Thanks for a great post. The new site looks great:)

  • Patty says:

    Love the article! I think myhubby ‘should’ read it – I ‘should’ print it out for him. LOL. Seriously, I want to work on relationships with others this year. I’ve let myself become way too busy with tasks.

  • Silvia says:

    My new year resolution is to first experience the depth of Jesus’s love and pass it on to my children and pray more together as a family.

  • Aneta Rude says:

    I love your books and my family has benefitted greatly from your advice. In the new year, I plan on focusing on giving each child and my husband quality time. I want to work to make my attitude and expectations more positive. I’m very excited about this new blog of yours and look forward to the pearls of wisdom you will be sharing with us. Cheers!

  • Brenda Handy says:

    Love your new site! Always a big fan of yours. Hope you will be at Kingdom Bound again this year!
    This year I am working at trying to keep my Mother in our home as long as possible without getting too stressed or overwhelmed. She has Alzheimer’s. Your prayers would be appreciated. God bless you and your family!

  • Louie says:

    I want to have a more disciplined personal time with my heavenly father, and be more in-tuned
    to people’s needs and reach out to help them , living to glorify Him.

  • Kari Penner says:

    This year is a continuation of my resolution last year to make my outside match my inside. I lost 40 lbs so far, 20 to go and with that has come a new relationship with my husband of 10 years. I will put God first, then everything else seems to fall in line!

  • John Skelly says:

    Love the new site can’t wait to explore more of the information here. Question do you have tips and tricks for step families?

  • shelly says:

    Thank you!

  • Julie says:

    Thank you for your tips on relationships. I believe I heard an interview of yours on our Christian radio station up here in Canada and was glad to see this posted by a friend on facebook. I look forward to reading more!

  • kinson says:

    I love reading your books. Your advices are insightful and practical. This year, my goal is to understand and start practising your tried and true top 20 do’s and don’ts for surviving the wild ride of adolescence.

  • Barb Lester says:

    Thank you for the positive helps for the coming year. I am finding more and more that I am that critical parent–time to stop!!! Also, I’m looking forward to reading your book about “Smart women know how to say no” (Not sure of exact title).

    Blessings on you:)

  • Erin says:

    Love the new site and the blog, have shared it 3 times already with people I know and then with the whole facebook world.
    Must remember to NEED my 4 yr old who shaves 🙂

  • Deborah Gilcrease says:

    I’m so excited to find your new site Dr.
    Lehman! One of my goals is to give my
    middle child more one on one attention.
    I’m a mother of five. My oldest is 18 and
    graduating my second is 13 and well that
    explains a lot, my middle is 10, he’s the
    on child I have that’s not like a first born,
    he’s sweet ,very considerate and a peacemaker.
    My fourth is 3 and my baby is 10 mo. Everyone
    demands attention from me but my middle
    child. He just serves and doesn’t complain
    much. He told me recently that he hated bring
    the middle because no one ever pays attention
    to him. This makes me very sad because aside from
    the baby, my middle child is the most compliant.
    I desperately need your birth order book.
    Thank you for your ministry to families.
    In Christ
    Deborah
    book.

  • Jill says:

    Thank you for using the talents God has given you. My husband and I are working on reading Making Children Mind without Losing Yours. Next he wants to read about being a good father, and I need to read your book about my pleasing personality. My mom needs to read Having a new Tanager by Friday, but I can’t force her:)
    Thank you for this website and all you do!
    Jill

  • suzanne says:

    This is my first time to your site..It looks really great, I am looking forward to reading more in 2012!

  • trisha white says:

    i am reading your book have a new teen by friday. my goal for this year is to get to a new level …a healthy level with my special gift from God …my strong willed 14 year old. i am encouraged by your book. the past 6 years have been so difficult in this area. i have dealt with a chronic illness that has affected all of us and contributed to some frustration , anger and guilt. that combination in these hormone years has led to a slippery slop. i am committed to do my best on my part to fix this dilemna. it has been a God send and i will use your advice often.

  • Andrea says:

    Great post!! My goal for this year is to continue to become the best mother and wife that I was attended to be. I have been working on this for twelve years, and my goal never changes.