Tired of the poopy pants potty battles? Dr. Leman gives you one rule to follow to solve the potty battle. Also, what is your role as a grandparent with a daughter and granddaughter living with you?

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Question #1:

My 4 year old son won’t stop pooping in his underwear. We have tried time outs, stickers, spankings, putting outside and even washing him off with a hose. Nothing works. What do I do?

Answer:

  • Who is becoming more responsible for your son’s poop? Your son or you?
  • The hard truth is that he isn’t potty trained, because of your actions.
  • As long as you remain involved, this will be a problem.
  • Once he fills his pants, he gets his pjs on and goes to bed. If it is early in the day, playtime is over. He comes inside and is done with fun for the day. No more playing.
  • He needs to learn self-discipline to do this himself. Your constant hovering and prodding is not teaching him self-discipline.
  • The rule is one pair of underpants for the whole day. Once soiled, the fun is over.
  • When he soils his underpants: Don’t console him, Let him know you are displeased and ignore him for the rest of the day.

Question #2 As a Grandmother, am I overstepping or not?

My daughter and my two year old granddaughter live with me. We are both parenting her how do I know what role to take in all this what boundaries do I need to put on my part of the patenting.
My granddaughter loves to get into everything and we are not sure how to discipline her at this age. HELP!!!!!
Joanna

Answer

  • Who is the mother? Mom or Grandma. Probably Grandma is the actual Mom.
  • Ask yourself, why is my daughter living with me again? Realize if this is a short term situation or a long term issue. If this is a temporary situation, until mom gets over this hump, fine help her out. If this looks like a long-term situation, then the goal needs be what can be done to get mom and daughter out on their own.
  • Don’t take over as the older person. Your role is to be Grandma. Mom is supposed to be mom.
  • If you run in and take over, this will end badly for your relationship with your daughter.
  • Your goal is to help your daughter get back on her own in her own accommodations. Talk with your daughter about that being the goal and how is she going to get there. Help her work towards being responsible for her future.
  • Encourage your daughter to read the book, “Single Parenting that Works.”

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Podcast by: Dr. Kevin Leman with Doug & Andrea Terpening Post by: Doug Terpening