049: Ask Dr. Leman (Trampoline Parents, Soccer Snub)

Your spouse wants a trampoline and you are 100% against it. What do you do? Your child worked hard and had a great attitude, yet got a soccer snub from the coach. What do you do? In this episode, Dr. Leman answers those questions.

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Items from the podcast

Question #1: Audio: My husband is overly safe about what the kids can and cannot do. He is robbing them of their childhood by not allowing them use a trampoline or other things like it.

Answer:

  • Your husband is cautious. He is a worrier. He most likely a 1st born Male.
  • The Leman family has a trampoline with clear rules, like an adult must be there when the kids are on it.
  • You need move in his direction.
  • Your husband is likely hovering and hindering the kids by being worried.
  • His cautious nature will help you later in life like his concern over retirement, savings, etc.
  • When you do talk to your husband about the trampoline, use these words, “Can you tell me more about your concerns?”
  • Agree with your husband as much as possible.
  • When you do want to share your opinion, use soft statements like, “I may be way out of bounds, but could we think about _________________.”
  • Then ask your husband how he would solve the issue of safety with a trampoline. Men love to be asked how to solve a problem.

Question #2: Audio: My son’s soccer coach said each kid would be recognized for their hard work every week after the game. Every kid got recognized but one, my son. How do I deal with the disappointment?

Answer:

  • The key is for you the parent to affirm them and their effort.
  • Say, “I know you have worked hard. I am so proud of how hard you have worked this year. Your father and I appreciate the way you handled the situation. We loved watching you play.”
  • Also say, “I am sure there are more disappointment to come your way.” Prepare them for the reality that life will have disappointments.
  • If you child had come home very angry, put his fist through the wall and threw chair around the room, then the discussion would be quite different.

Parenting Tip/ Pocket Answer

Can you tell me more about it?

Announcement

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