Clingy 9 Year-Old; When To Apply Specific Techniques- Ask Dr. Leman 91 (Episode 197)

Do you have a child that you can’t leave because they are too clingy? Are you wondering what age is ideal to start implementing Dr. Leman’s teachings? These are the two questions that Dr. Leman answers on this episode.

Questions

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Question #1 Dani:

My clingy 9 year old won’t let go of me when I drop him off at school or camp. He will run after me. What do I do in that moment?

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

He is using what I call “purposive behavior.” He has a reason for doing it. He knows he will get a response from you.

Next time this happens, you need to simply turn your back, walk away and don’t say a word. Don’t even try to reason with him because he will just draw you back in.

You can explain to him at another time, “You need to go to school; this is your job.”

Question #2: Kelsey

At what age can I begin to implement your various parenting strategies?

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

First of all, there is a danger if you over parent/micromanage your children.

Here are some examples of ages when kids are able to respond to various strategies:
1. Your 14 month old needs to be removed from a scene to a playpen.
2. Your 3 year old can handle you “stepping over her” when she throws a fit.
3. Your 5 year old can understand when you say it once and then walk away.

Have a New Kid by Friday is a book full of good techniques to start using at age 5.
Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours is good for all ages. (New revision coming out this fall!)

 

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