How to Evade the Comparison Trap (Episode 214)

Are you stuck in a comparison cycle? Have your kids gotten caught up in the comparison game? “Tommy has a new phone!” “They have a bigger house.” “The Joneses are going skiing!” Listen to Dr. Leman on today‚Äôs episode to find out how to break the comparison trap.

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Comparison is a joy killer.

We actually teach our kids to compare themselves with each other and their friends when we do the very same thing.
As parents, we often even compare one kid to the other. “Do you remember when Johnny learned how to ride his bike? He was actually younger than you are, Beauford!”

Kids have ego-centric personalities. And they aren’t blind. They notice these comparisons.

The question I have for you is this:
Are you training up your kid to see what’s really important?

Next time they voice their comparison, humor them a little.
You could say, “Wow! I wish I could be a part of that family, too! They are going skiing? You have my permission to ask if you can join their family. Ask! You could be on the ski slopes next week!”

Here is a real surprise: part of helping them kill comparison is to help them feel involved in your family. This actually means putting them to work around the home. Let them help steer your decisions as a family. Ask for their opinions on decisions.

In the end, it is more important to feel valued than to have fun. This will have greater impact.

 

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