Pot Smoking Teen; Interest in Private Parts- Ask Dr. Leman 93 (Episode 201)

What would (should) you do if your teenager comes home regularly every week high on marijuana? Should you be concerned if your eight year old daughter is checking out her private parts? Listen to Dr. Kevin Leman today to find out his answer!

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Question #1 Meagan:

How would you deal with a 17 year old girl coming home high on a regular basis. I feel like I can control what happens in my home but not what is happening outside the home. I’ve threatened drug testing but not sure if that is the right approach or not. I have talked the issue to death and she feels that since she has finished school and is working that I shouldn’t have an issue with it. I don’t understand that. Thank you for your help.

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

Yes, you cannot control what she does, but you do have control over
several factors in her life that will have an IMMEDIATE impact on her.
1. Driver’s license. GONE.
2. Keys to the car. GONE.
3. Spending money. GONE.

You can cut off her money and her freedom. She is still living in your home.

You stay neutral. Don’t come out angry at her.
The key will be that you don’t buckle under her barrage of anger.

Question #2 Sara:

My daughter is 8 now and has seemed to have a bit of a curiosity about private parts! There have been a few instances over the past 5 years – playing Dr., you show me yours, I’ll show you mine, showing another girl her “boobies, and just recently she showed another girl her butt. I guess I’m trying not to freak out, but I am getting a little worried. We have talked to her every time something like this happens and told her to come to us (her parents) if she has questions, but it hasn’t stopped. We have taken away sleep-overs in order to protect other kids, and as a consequence. Do you have any suggestions? Encouragement?

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

This is absolutely common. Most people report doing this at some point.

Don’t overreact.

However, most of this should be ending at age eight. At ten, I would
be concerned that she has a sexual fetish.

Ask yourself: does she share openly with me about who she is? Does she
share her emotions? (People with a fetish will be very private.)

The key for you will be to listen well to her. Value what she has to
say. Encourage her healthy bents.