Preventing An Emotional Basketcase; Losing Daughter To Grandma- Ask Dr. Leman 88 (Episode 191)

Are you worried about your child having emotional meltdowns at the smallest disturbances and going into “turtle mode?” Do you have a grandmother that your daughter is attached to more than you? Curious about how to handle the situations? Dr. Leman explains why on this episode!


Question #1 Tyler:

I have a 5 year old daughter. I’m afraid that she may become an emotional basket case like my 13 year old niece. How do I overcome these seeds?

Girls thrive on communication. Some personalities will have a greater tendency toward emotional swings than others.

When the emotional bumps and bruises come along, they begin to melt down.


1. Don’t deny her feelings. Instead assure her, “This is no big thing.”
2. Don’t feed the monster, instead say, “I know it is important to you,” but you step aside.
3. Don’t offer solutions, instead say, “Honey, I am sure you can handle this.”

Question #2 Tess:

My four year old daughter throws a fit when it is time to return to my house after being with father and grandmother. Mom and new husband are rejected with rage and anger.

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

I am dead against splitting a child between two homes. A child becomes like a turkey wish-bone, and then she or he pays for it.

You have two options in this scenario:
1. Take her, put her in her car seat, don’t argue and make no fanfare.
2. Next time she throws this fit, leave her with them for the week. Let the family see how they feel about this. Let the reality of the situation become their teacher.