Ever had a stubborn teen that refused to go to school? Has your teenager not only talked back to you, but used foul language as she yelled at you? Dr. Kevin Leman answers these questions and goes deeper in this episode.

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Question #1: Stubborn Teen

My son is an ipod addict. He either forgets or refuses to do pretty much anything while he is using it. He also becomes irritable and rude. I took away the ipod charger for being rude.

To “punish” me he refused to go to school and is still refusing to go. He says he won’t go until he has his charger. I hate for him to miss school but I think it is wrong to give in and give it back to him. Both me and my husband are very stressed about the whole situation. What should we do?

Elena

Answer #1

  • The next time he says he won’t go to school, walk away from him and call the school. Let the school know your son won’t be attending school today, because he has decided to skip.
  • Have the school call him.
  • When the school calls, let your son, not you, talk to the school administrator.
  • Let the school tell him to come to school.
  • Don’t engage him when he gets angry. Remain the calm adult.
  • You have to learn to rewire how you interact with your kid.

Question #2: Foul Language

My almost 15 year-old daughter will scream and yell ugly/foul language at me when she’s out of control…. How do I not power struggle with that and what should the consequence be?

I’m worried about the example she’s setting for the other sisters.

Thanks,
Kristy

Answer #2

  • You don’t tolerate her blowing up on you.
  • There needs to be consequences for her behavior, without making things worse.
  • Use “B Doesn’t Happen Before A”.
  • This will continue into adulthood if it isn’t addressed now.
  • Give her the “bread and water treatment,” which means: there is food in the frig; serve yourself. Also, don’t wash her clothes or make her lunch. Let her know you are her mother (not maid) and you aren’t to be talked down to.
  • Realize that you have allowed this to happen before. Don’t excuse it now. Excuses make the weak weaker.
  • She needs to learn to appreciate you and all you do for her.
  • The words you use will alter the course of your child’s life.

Parenting Tip/ Pocket Answer

Don’t make excuses. Excuses make the weak weaker.

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