Have you found your teen sending nude photos to their significant other who they aren’t even allowed to have? Are you caught in the stress of deciding if your kids should do activities, and how many? These are the questions Dr. Leman answers on today’s episode!
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Question #1 Heather:
My fourteen year old daughter has been caught taking nude photos and sending them to her boyfriend (whom she is not supposed to have). Recently she has seen a counselor for cutting and disobedient behavior all year. The counselor says this is all normal. I am new to your podcast and don’t know which book to start with. Thank you.
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
There is NOTHING NORMAL about cutting.
She is screaming, “I feel controlled!!!!”
She does not feel that she has any dominion over her life.
This means that she has been micromanaged. The only place she has any control is over her cutting.
Here are some steps to take:
1. Apologize to her. Tell her you are sorry for trying to micromanage her.
2. Invite the boy over to your house for dinner and a nice evening.
3. Tell her you need her help. Give her traditional ways to help you around the house.
4. Have the deep talk about the problems with sexting.
The bottom line has to be about, “I am not going to run your life. You do what you want.” Likely she will begin to listen to you.
We have heard it said, “Puppy love is real to the puppy.” But we know these relationships pass.
Three books I’d recommend reading are Have a New Kid By Friday, Have a New Teenager by Friday, and Have a Happy Family By Friday.
Question #2 Amy:
How many activities, and at what age should I get my kids involved? My 6 year old just started Tae Kwon DO, and my 4 year old, gymnastics. Should I join soccer?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
When you enroll your children in activities, you are not just enrolling them, but the whole family. Soccer takes up your weekend. Practices take up weeknights. You and your husband, as well as the siblings are all enrolled now.
On the other hand, keep in mind that you put an indelible imprint on your kids life every day. Every time you enroll them in an activity, you lose that chance to make an imprint.
I always say to avoid as many activities as possible, and make memories as a family.