Do you feel like you’ve played all your cards and don’t have any more options when it comes to discipline? Have you ever wondered how to move away from being an authoritarian parent? Both these questions are asked in the podcast today and answered by the wise Dr. Leman.
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Question #1 Dana:
My son failed geometry because of procrastination and now we have taken away all this privileges to try and get him back on track, but nothing seems to be working. What do I do now?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
Whenever I hear the word, “procrastinate,” I know that I am dealing with a parent who tries too hard, a parent who is an authoritarian. This is the kind of parent who is always pushing, pushing, pushing.
This boy is sick of being pulled in a direction, and he is done with it. When parenting is over the top with too many requirements, you will have a donkey with his heels dug in.
Home and school issues should be treated separately. For this boy, hire a tutor for geometry, and back off in your parenting expectations at home.
I would also recommend reading the book “Parenting Your Powerful Child” and using the techniques mentioned.
Question #2 Tyler:
How do I stop being an authoritarian parent and become an authoritative parent when my kids are small and demand so much, especially from my perspective as a dad?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
Your greatest partner here is your wife. Listen to her. She is more in touch with the feelings of the kids. Let her say the word that helps you “stop, look, and listen” to your kids.
Ask your wife how you can help her with the house and in parenting. She will be able to use a code word with you to communicate at the moments that you slip into authoritarian parenting.
Finally…
don’t overuse the word, “no” with your kids.