After the shock of finding your teen sleeping around wears off, what should you do? Yell, scream, cry, ground, hug, support, listen or what? Teens having sex is a prevalent issue and many parents choose to bury their heads in the sand. Yet, the question get real when it is your own kid: What is the wise response?
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What do I do when I find out my Sophomore kid is having sex with their boyfriend/ girlfriend?
First of all, these conversations should start mom to son, and father to daughter at about age 9. Women can relate to their boys from a women’s perspective, and men have a great deal of influence in how their daughters feel loved and accepted. I have a book that will be helpful with these conversations called A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex.
There are so many consequences for the youth, and even for you, parent, when kids participate in pre-marital sex from pregnancy, emotional baggage, cervical cancer, and even legal battles. As a parent, you cannot stop them from having sex, but you can talk to them about the consequences and relay your disappointment over their choice.
Here is how I would handle the situation with my kids:
1. Tell him or her, “I know, and I am disappointed with you. There is a price for this choice, and almost everything about it is negative.”
2. Call the other kid’s parent and plan a meeting with the kids and parents.
3. Share the information and your concern at the meeting.
4. Don’t try to force the kids to stop, because they will rebel and find a way to meet up. Instead put the heat on them by bringing it out into the light and expressing your disappointment over their choice.
Dr. Leman’s Book on talking about sex with your kids: A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex