How do I stop whining now that my kid is 8 years old? Is my child strong willed, powerful or is it me? Dr. Leman answers these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.
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Question #1 from Bonnie:
How do I stop the whining of my 6 and 8 year old kids? I keep bringing their whining to their attention, but they keep whining. Will they eventually grow out of it and stop? Is there a better approach for me to take?
Dr. Kevin Leman’s Answer:
Yes, Bonnie! There is a better way to get the kids to stop whining!
First of all, they are doing it because they have found that it works; it pays off! I call this “purposive behavior.”
Here is what I would suggest:
1. Take the time to think through what normally do in these situations, and what the new you is going to do/say.
2. When the whining starts; remove the child. Yes, put them outdoors, in their room, etc.
3. Follow this with a look of disapproval. (Kids are always seeking our approval.)
Remember: Behavior only reoccurs because it is working!
You may find my book Have a New You by Friday helpful.
Question #2 from Jaci:
My 11 year old daughter is very strong willed. How do I deal with disrespectful arguing without getting angry and micromanaging?
Dr. Kevin Leman’s Answer:
Here is a test for your child: Does she/he need to have the last word in an argument? If you answered “yes,” then that person is “powerful.”
It’ll behoove you not to give in to a child like this.
Turn your cheek with a soft response
Let the consequence be the passing of time
Go back to normal
Dr. Kevin Leman’s Book “Have a New You”: Have a New You by Friday: How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days