How do you regain trust when you have perpetual liar for a child? Is toddler warfare common or should there be concern? Dr Leman answer these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.
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Question #1 Grace:
WE have a lying 13 year old who we can’t don’t trust anymore. He threw his sister’s ipod into the snow and can’t be trusted with ANYTHING.
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
With a kid who has lost all trust and is a perpetual liar, you are right that you need to do something. He is headed for trouble.
The Bread and Water Treatment is a good place to start, and you will need to do it until he has regained your trust. It could be five more years, until he turns 18. This means no perks until he changes!
Begin by using the Toilet Paper Treatment, and show him the five remaining squares which represent his five remaining years in this “prison”. He can choose how he wants to spend those years.
Now, if you as a parent are over-controlling, this may be the explanation for his lying behavior, but if not, I would recommend seeing a professional to have him evaluated.
Question #2 Brooke:
How do you handle sibling rivalry at ages 1 and 3?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
Birth order plays into the rivalry question, so keep in mind that this three year old has an intruder in his life. It is a threat to his kingdom, and he does not feel safe anymore.
The firstborn wants your attention:
Build him up
Point out that everything is ok
Point out that he is bigger
Reassure him that you have lots of kisses and hugs for him
Put him to bed last, and read an extra book
When the skirmishes come along, they need to be separated so the baby does not get hurt, but don’t play judge. They are both at fault.