Hi Everyone! Welcome to my new website! We worked hard to make the site user friendly and we welcome any of your comments.
We had a great Christmas, all of my five kids were home! And in typical Leman style, we had fun. It’s great to have kids who love each other and love us.
Can you guess who is who?
At this time of year everyone is talking about resolutions for the coming year. So I thought I would take time this first blogpost to give you some suggestions to make sure that your relationships with those you love most are strong and healthy! I am sure many of you made a resolution to be a better parent or spouse… If so, leave a comment, tell me your goals!
Tips for parenting:
1. Watch your expectations, make sure they are positive and not negative!
2. Make sure your kids get enough Vitamin E (encouragement) and some very essential Vitamin N which is No! Remember, if you love your child, you will disciple them
3. Rules are important but not the only thing that is important, relationships matter most!
4. Have fun with your kids, laugh at yourself, use the words, “I am sorry”
5. Finally, to put it bluntly do not take any disrespectful act from your son or daughter without significant consequences!
Kids have a need to please you. They don’t like it when Mom and Dad are unhappy.
As important as relationships are with our kids, the more profound relationship is with your spouse! Now, realizing that many of you are single, stay with me because there are tips for you to come. For those of you who are married, here are some thoughts to make this year as close to stress-free as possible.
Tips for your marriage:
1. Ladies, remember he is the SIMPLE one! As I have said many times, think of him as a four year old that shaves! His needs are simple. He needs to be needed and wanted by YOU!
2.Guys, understand that your wife majors in relationships and communication. She has the need to hear from you. She wants to know your feelings that you have about, well… almost everything in life! She needs to feel like your lovingly affectionate at all times!
3. We spend money on everything under the sun, I wonder how many of us invest our time and our money in our marriage? Want to do something for your family this year, take time to be a couple, enjoy a date night, consider joining next year’s Couples of Promise Cruise! Those kind of investments play dividends for generations.
4. Do your marriage a great favor and make sure that your spouse and your relationship take precedence.
Tips for relationships (including those of you you are single!):
1. Don’t “should” on yourself — When you “should” on yourself, you are really putting down the masterpiece that God created in you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind!
2. If you have a critical eye– that is to say that you can spot a flaw, especially in the ones you love, in less than 10 seconds…. give it a rest! And rather than pull up the negatives, look for the positives and use the words, “Good job!” “Nice going” and “I bet that makes you feel good inside!”
3. One more thing, if you want to see a relationship with someone you love improve dramatically, in less than 48 hours, stop asking questions! It’s like magic. On that note, tuck the “why” word away and watch the relationship change before your eyes!
Two of my favorite scriptures come from St. Paul — Where in Ephesians 6, he says “Children obey your parents, it is the right thing to do! Because God has placed them in authority over you.”
And in the preceding chapter, Paul writes these profound words, for those of us who are married, “Honor Christ by submitting to one another.” These imperfect people that surround your life are God gifts for you! Handle these relationships with care.
I have said many times that marriage and parenthood is not easy, but it is simple. God does have a simple plan for our marriages as well as for the journey of being a good parent.
As a welcome to my new website, I thought I would start with a Giveaway! This one is simple. There are only TWO things you have to do to enter.
1. Use the buttons below to share this post with your friends on Facebook and/or Twitter. Invite your friends, help us get the word out about this new site!
2. Leave me a comment on this post! Tell me your resolutions this year. How you are going to strive to be a better parent, husband, wife, son or daughter…etc.. Or just tell me what you think about the new site!
Friday afternoon I will select a winner, at random, to win 3 autographed books (Now, the books need to be in stock!) Don’t forget to give your email in the comment section so I can get a hold of you!
I wish you all a great 2012.
Love the new website, great pics of the family, Happy New Year Lemans!!
Happy New Year to you guys as well! What’s really cool about these 5 kids is that they love each other and their old parentals….and they are all givers and not takers! Blessings, Cub
well of course facebook is having “issues”. Do you have a book on patience, because I gotta get me some of that! Love your message in today’s blog, thank you for keeping my focus where it should be!
Thanks for the great reminders Dr. Leman!
Want to listen to her more this year, dont ever want to be accused,” Mom you dont listen”.
Dr. Leman, your simple advice has transformed my marriage. I want to continue making sure my husband is repsected, needed, and fulfilled at home. I am also working on the “say it once, turn around, and walk away” with my children. I love your new website. Will be bookmarking it in my favorites!!
Happy New Year!
Love your new site!!! Thanks for all you do to help improve this crazy world!!!!!
Thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom! Relationships are of huge importance in my life and I always need to learn more to improve them. It seems there is always room to grow and it’s a good thing:)
This year I will take care of myself. By doing this, I will feel better and, thus, be better to be with. Also …. be GRATEFUL that I have children who are really some pretty great people and, although they take a TON of effort, I am pleased as punch :> that they are “mine.”
Love the website!!! Will be checking it daily!!
I resolve to keep my mouth shut more often and just listen — especially with my spouse.
This yr my Hubby and i are determined to dial down the stress and arguing with the kids all the time. gonna get rid of the butting heads and yelling so we’ve started reading new kid by Friday together. Thanks Dr Leman we r seeing results already!!
More date nights…. more exercise (typing this as I just ate two little snack cakes!!!)…. really focus on priorities as I tend to be too much of a workaholic and worrier that I’m doing it right which usually/often means that I don’t really enjoy the whole process…. IF THAT even makes sense. Ha!
I love this new site. I love your sense of humor. And am very grateful for your wisdom. I’ve posted on my FB site. And, I have often recommended your books to people. I’m a life coach and help people discover their personality strengths, so they can DO relationships well, so I’m grateful for your books … a valuable resource. Have a great New Year! May God bless you and your family in fresh and delightful ways!
Thanks Dr Lehman for the wise words! I have two awesome young adult children who love the Lord and a husband who has dedicated his life to ministry. I resolve to be a better encourager and seek new ways to show my husband how blessed I am to be his wife. Keep up the great work! It is appreciated!
We are a blended family. 11, 5, and newborn baby girl. My resolution to have patience with the blending process and not to yell when the patience is gone. Thanks for your books and insights.
Great website.. Can’t wait to see all that’s coming. This year we are striving for baby #2. We will. Continue to Pay off bills to free ourselves up. We gave ourselves 5 years to complete. Year #3 it’s looking good.
I’m always encouraged by you, Dr. Lehman. I have a long way to go, but I am glad I have your guidance.
Dear Dr Leman, I’m from Malaysia. In 2006 my husband ordered How to mind your children without losing yours. We had used your DVD to facilitate parents group and it has helped many of us who had gone on to buy your books. Just want to let you know that my hubby & I had re-learn about parenting from your teachings. Never forget your quote from Josh McDowell, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” Thank you so much Dr Leman, you have been a great blessing to many households in Malaysia. God bless you & your amazing family! :)
Dr. Leman,
I always make resoltuions to be a ‘better’ something…mom, friend, employer…and I think that my willingness to be better at what-ever has heloped me to attain that whatever because I sense a desire to ‘be better’…this year I felt impressed to read the Bible more, with intention to get to know my Savior better. It is Day 3 and I can see that my day is smoother and I am more ready for whatever comes my way…Thank you for being available to use your gifts for ‘such a time as this’ for this generation..We need your gifts and humor. Happy and Blessed New Year!
Have listened to you many times on Focus on the Family and most recently on WWI
B radio in WI. Always tune in when you are on. Love your tender yet firm and loving ways. Now have grandchildren which I hope to apply your teachings with. Thanks for the help and encouragement you always give. My resolution is to really listen to and spend more time renewing and growing my relationship with my husband. Love spending time with our grandkids too.
I am looking forward to this year and simply enjoying my kids as much as I always have. I have six children from 16 to 5, 3 boys and 3 girls. New Year’s Resolutions are not for me. Any day I see I need to make a change, I try, with God’s help, to get on it. We need reformation every day! Thanks and I look forward to exploring the site!
you sound like a lutheran!! haha –from one who knows what one is!
Raising teens in 2012!
Thanks for your sense of humor and your insights…gee, you mean the Bible has it right?! …duh!!! So glad to hear your faith and your PhD can get along!! haha
Great blog, looks great!
You continue to help my family…thank you.
I want to do one small different thing each day that will make my husbands day better. I also plan to make sure I tell my daughter every day something special about her. Neither should be difficult at all. I love my family dearly. Thanks to your help I didn’t blow the whole thing years ago. Thanks for all you put in to families and marriage.
Love the blog. I’m going to be my daughter’s Daddy, my son’s Dad, and my wife’s biblical husband. Thanks for your help, Dr. L.
Love how your advice it so simply put, so rooted in the Word of God, and so easy to do. At our ladies bible study, Life Cafe, in Goderich Ontario last year we studied your value packed parenting sessions. Planning on investing faith, values and time in the three precious little women that God has given my husband and I to raise this next year! Thanks for the fun practical God honoring advice Dr Leman!!!!
Your new website looks great! Love you sharing your family pics. Having read many of your books, I feel like I already know each of your family members. =) Looking forward to check this site out from now on.
Thank you for your new website! I am eager to visit it often and love your books! My goal this year is to get healthier and to speak kinder to my family. I find it easy to get very impatient or even annoyed with my family and then answer that way and I plan to change that this year/month! Thanks!
Hello, This blog is what I need. I hope you will give us much advise on raising children, it’s seems to be the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. I want to be kinder to my children and speak more positively. peacefulezfeelin@gmail.com
I am vowing to be less critical and more generous with positive comments to my husband.
Thank you Dr. Leman. Always appreciate your sound and insightful advice. Gonna try to keep it simple and authentic in 2012!!
This year, just one of my new years resolutions is to figure out how to get the sticky fingers out of my 2 almost 3 year old. She steals anything from jewelry to candy, but her favorite thing to steal is money. I’m hoping that I can get to the bottom of this with a little help from YOU, DR. LEMAN!
Sad thing is that I used to Bust shoplifters for a living (even did it when I was pregnant with her, coincidentally)
Great blog! Thanks for the reminder to make my relationship with my husband a priority. Going to try to be more diligent about PRAYING for him this year.
I have four children and always need to be reminded to take time out as a couple. Thank you for the reminder.
My resolutions: Keep my sails out of my kids’ wind. Don’t react. Don’t react. Keep my mouth shut. Wait for the “why”. Accept imperfections in the people God has placed around me.
This year: Keep it simple, have more fun, focus on MORE OF HIM…not my performance! Thank you for reminding me!
My resolution this year is to choose joy in my life each and every day. I plan to take the time to invest in myself so that I can be the best wife, mom, grandma, and daughter that I can.
This year my resolution, my goal, my intention is to be less hard on everyone!! Including myself. I find that I tend to forget that my kids need encouragement and smiles as well as discipline. I wear myself out with the small stuff, and so when the big stuff rolls around ( like disrespect) I dont have the energy to fight that battle. My resolution is to be a stronger parent, but also, a happier and calmer one!!!
Looking forward to the blog and the new website is awesome. In 2012 I want to focus on the joy of being a spouse and parent and stress less thinking I must always have the “right” answer for everyone and every situation. I am going to be intentional about making “memories” with my granddaughters.
mamidechicas2@yahoo.com
Thanks, Kevin for your new blog. It is a great photo of your family. Steve & I were in Tucson on the 23rd of December, stopped at FLR and saw a few people we still knew. We were visiting our younger daughter near Phoenix for Christmas since we now live in Texas. My focus this new year will be to encourage our grandchildren and young people that I minister to through music, church , or neighborhood to love our Lord with kind words or notes in the mail.
Nice to hear from you, Happy New Year, KL
Love the blog! I want to work on honouring my parents, being a better big sister, and giving that critical eye a rest. fancynoodle@yahoo.ca
I plan to E-N-J-O-Y 2012. Excited about the blog!
My plan is to invest in music events. It improves me, my business and the relationships with those I choose to take.
I like the idea of putting time and money into my marriage! Also coming up with ways of doing things as a family like doing crafts together or games and puzzles.
Just discovered your books! They are wonderful – thank you! Keep them coming…..
I resolve this year to listen more and to watch what I say.
We have one easy teenager and one difficult teenager. We’re trying to apply your principles to get better responses from the difficult one, but we’ve had little success. The problem must be us! Not sure what to do when our daughter comes back to us for hugs with an apology after speaking harshly to us, or not doing what she’s supposed to do. Do we deny her affection? I hate to be cold toward her. My resolution this year is to figure out what to do and stop this yo-yo behaviour. We’re getting tired of it. Hopefully, with more reading, we can get figure out the right response. In the meantime, if you have suggestions, we’re eager to hear! Good job on the website and thank you for your work.
Michelle, Don’t make this difficult….receive the affection and apology….but after that when she asks for anything, give her vitamin “NO”….don’t let her go there, or have money, or driven any place….don’t have an attitude, don’t get drawn into battle!
I am striving to spend more quality time with my little ones. I also want to cultivate a more Christian atmosphere into my home.
Thanks for taking the time to help us thing of parenting/relationships in a new way!!
Kristy Pippins
Thanks for all of your books Dr. Leman. They’ve been a great help. By the way, love that dog in the picture!