Does this sound familiar, “Now, Sally, apologize to your little brother! Say, ‘I’m Sorry.’”? Does it work? How can I get my kids back if we are estranged and they are grown adults now? Dr. Leman answers these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.
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Question #1:
(Audio) Charlotte asks, How do I get my kids to apologize to each other? Should I force it?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- Well, no don’t force apologies.
- You want to keep it on the kid’s shoulders.
- I would offer Vitamin “N” to the unapologetic child.
- Vitamin N is “no” to their requests
- Explain that you are disappointed with their actions earlier.
- Remember that this is a training issue, it infers repeated reminders.
Question #2:
My husband and I have been married for 32 years. My husband is the baby of his family and the only boy. I am the baby of my family and the only girl. We have four adult children ages 23, 25, 27, and 29. We all get along great with the exception of our oldest who does not fit the first born description. She tells me that her Dad’s actions toward her as a child were irresponsible and neglectful and that I never stood up for her! This is very painful for me as a mother and her sisters do not want to have anything to do with her because of the way she treats us as parents. I pray daily for This situation and am hoping by chance that you might have a suggestion.
Thank you,
Pam
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- Pam, your oldest is a “bone digger”. Her perception of the past is her reality.
- Try out one of my pocket phrases when she brings it up: “You could be right,” and add, “Life hasn’t been that fair to you.”
- Then, I would walk away and enjoy the other members of the family.
- In reality, who is losing out in this situation? She is.
- Sooner or later, she will come around!
Remember to check out my “pocket phrases” at birthorderguy.com by subscribing to our podcast!
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