My child is getting in trouble at school and I don’t know what to do. My 16 year old is rebellious and my Ex undermines my parenting efforts. How do I establish consequences? Dr. Leman answers these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.
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Question #1:
Lyndsay (Audio)
8 year old has bad behavior at school. She is losing privileges because she acts out so much. What can I do?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
If there is something drastically wrong with your daughter, she would be acting out at home too. It sounds like in this case, she is acting out primarily at school.
Here are some things to consider:
1. She is competing for attention with her older sibling.
2. The teacher or school may have a very authoritarian system.
The teacher needs to know you stand with her in the consequences they are giving.
Tell your daughter that you are disappointed with her behavior.
Consider moving her to another school, out from the shadow of her sibling and possibly to a different discipline/teaching style.
Question #2:
Christine (Audio)
16 year old daughter is extremely rebellious, her father undermines mother’s authority. How does mom establish boundaries.
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
The only way your daughter will finally change, is to see that the way she has chosen is NOT working. She’ll have to come to the point to wake up and see it herself.
One way to help her out is to use my Toilet Paper example. Tear off a strip of 18 squares, rip off 16, and show her the remaining 2 to represent her years left in your home. After that, she can be on her own, making her own choices, getting her own place, and out of your “prison”.
In a situation like this, where you have a divorce, undermining father, angry daughter, you have a real difficult situation.
Here are some things for you, Mom:
1. Express disappointment
2. Yes, use professional help
3. Pray. Pray. Pray.
4. Don’t give her any money (and hide yours)
5. Establish limits in the home such as curfew