What do you do if you child wants to drop out of all extracurricular activities? Do you make 2 or 3 meals to satisfy the picky eaters in your home? Dr. Leman answers these questions with his usual wit and wisdom.
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Question #1: Sara My 5th grader wants to stop all extracurricular activities. What should my response be?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
I am a proponent of few activities. Kids don’t need to keep us running all day long, and it is not even healthy for them to be so busy. They need time to rest. You need family time. Sara is asking a very good question, though, especially because she is using the key word “respond”.
1. Yes, you respond to this request of your daughter, don’t react.
2. Ask: “What are your reasons for wanting to quit all activities?”
3. Hear her out.
A couple of considerations for you:
1. This may just be a little ripple, and when you don’t react, but listen well to the child, they may come around with something new they want to try out in several weeks.
2. There are some situations where you don’t just let them quit, like piano lessons and practice. That is something many adults are sad that they did not continue to pursue. You have to use judgement in situations like this.
Keep in mind, kids may just need a break. Maybe they are tired. Let them feel heard.
Question #2: Jessica I am making two meals every night for my picky eater kids. My husband feels it is not worth the fight to make them eat what we make. What should I do?
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
Food is a primary reinforcer. So yes, I believe it is worth the fight to teach your kids to eat what they are served.
Here is what I would do:
1. Make one meal.
2. Don’t warn them of the upcoming change.
3. Never put food onto their plates. Just bring it to the table, and let them serve up what they are going to taste.
4. Hunger will be their teacher when their tummy growls in bed that night.