Does your younger child excel and exceed your older? Do you worry about what your children are listening to? In this podcast I will solve these real problems from real people.
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Question #1
What is the best way to deal with a situation where your older child struggles while the younger sibling excels and likes to let it be known?
From, Elizabeth
Dr. Leman’s Answer:
- First, ask yourself, “Did I help to contribute to this?” “Was I overly critical of the older child?”
- If so, the older may have decided to give up trying since they saw there was no pleasing you. They see themself as a failure.
- Also, the younger sibling in UNKIND
- Nobody likes a braggart; You can talk to the younger sibling about how no one likes his/her disdainful behavior, “this was unkind, uncalled for, mean spirited”
- Tell the older child how impressed you are with how well they take it, your words make a big difference, and yes, your sibling is ‘too much’.
Question #2
I have a 16 year old son. He has a job and uses some of his money to buy songs on the internet. These songs are full of profanity and drug references. When I asked him what draws him to these songs it is mostly the tune, but some he says some have good messages. I don’t feel I can ban him from such songs, is that wrong? If not, how could I warn him without preaching of the dangers of filling your mind constantly with such things?
From, Shani Hustad
Dr Leman’s Answer:
- I’d see this as a 2, not a 10 on the concern scale.
Remember, don’t be rule-oriented. Relationship matters. - Kids don’t necessarily know what the words are, or mean.
They will hear it around school or the mall anyhow. - Try these phrases:
- “I am surprised you like these words in your ears”
- “I am disappointed that you are listening to it”
- This is not a deal-breaker or a relationship-ender.
Announcement
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