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Parental Poker: You have 4 Aces Use Them.

Our family on our last vacation started playing the card game, Spades. The key to the game is knowing how many aces you have. In parenting, you know how many aces you have. You have them all. All 4 aces.


What does it mean that you the parent have 4 aces? Use them!

You the parent have full authority over your kids, not to dominate. Literally, your kids wouldn’t have underwear on if it weren’t for you. You have the gold in your back pocket. You want the cooperation of your kids. They want the gold in your pocket. Use it wisely.

Parental Poker

Parental poker means you use your 4 aces at key times to help train up your kids. It will mean removing part of what you are giving your kids. It is a gamble, but you have 4 aces.

Be Consistent or Don’t Start

Don’t use it just once. It won’t make a difference one time. You kids will test you to see, if you mean it. They will manipulate you and use guilt on you. Stay the course.

What stops parents?

Many parents fear that if they use their aces, their kids won’t like them. They also are concerned that their kids will treat them bad.


Listen to the end of the podcast for the role play and application.

Parenting Tip/ Pocket Answer

You have 4 aces. Use Them.


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Podcast by: Dr. Kevin Leman with Doug & Andrea Terpening Blog: Doug Terpening